Stepping Out:
I knew when we moved into our home that I needed to have my husband take me and the kids on our first walk to the shopping center. But I kept putting it off because I knew deep down inside the reason behind it wasn’t a fun one for me. Since I “Hung Up the Keys” at the end of February, I knew it was TIME. On March 7th, we went on the walk….
I was so nervous! I was having anxiety. I felt emotional inside and I was definitely short with my husband and 2 year old son. I was trying so very hard to keep it together all the while thinking, “This should be a fun adventure. Don’t think about the loss but think about the gain (being outdoors!). I am trying, I really am.”
My husband gave me some tips on best/safe places to walk and taught me how to time the stop light to know when it is our turn next (this helps with the wait at the crosswalks.) Despite me not having the best attitude, he kept trying to be positive for me. Ya, he’s pretty awesome.
We reached our destination….Dollar Tree! Bought some stuff to prepare for a yard sale we had that following weekend. (BTW, yard sales on Sundays are a no go.)
For the most part….the kids did good. 🙂
Now we return back home! This time around I felt a little more confident in myself. I just need to take it slow, look to the left and right multiple times.
I tend to cut a lot of people off since I do not see them walking past me. They usually think I am being rude or just not aware of my surroundings. I am fully aware of my surroundings, I just can’t SEE you!
I remember this one time I got out of my car and started walking and totally cut this lady off as we were both about to enter a store. I gasped and apologized for bumping into her and explained that I just didn’t see her next to me. She smiled and replied with “We are all in our own little worlds”. I know she was just trying to make it light and not a big deal but that actually offended me because I am normally very aware of others and I do not get stuck into my little world. So I just blurted out “Actually, no I really didn’t see you. That’s what happens when you don’t have peripheral vision”. I smiled and walked away.
She was probably like, “What the HECK?”
All that matter is I felt better and you can’t assume others are “In their own little world” 🙂
It felt good to be out. I know I’ll become more comfortable once I do this more often. I mean…look at how pretty my neighborhood is!
We did it! I did it!
It wasn’t as bad as I thought it would be but it was a hard reality that needed to be sunk in. I am so thankful to have a husband who cares for me and knows how to meet my needs by being there every step of the way.
I cried myself to sleep that night just because everything was so overwhelming and emotional. It takes a lot out of me when being out in public and learning new surrounds. I am hoping it’ll get easier….right?!
Anyhow, once we get the chance, I’ll go again with my husband before I take the plunge on my own.
Thanks for joining me in my little adventure!